Friday, January 21, 2011

Day 11 - Something I've Lost That I Miss

Of all the things I've lost along the way, I miss my mind the most!  Well, that is the case most days.

I miss a lot of things I no longer have in my life.  And of all those things, I miss my grandmother the most.

I wasn't close to a lot of my grandparents.  My mom's parents lived in Ohio, so I saw them once a year in the summer...and sometimes Poppy would visit for Xmas.  I don't remember Grammy ever coming to CO, just us going to see her.

My dad's dad died when I was two.  I have one very cloudy, dream like memory of him.  But other then that, I have no memories at all.  I'm not sure I really miss him since I never really knew him.  I know I love him, but I just have no connection to him.

And that leaves me with my Grandma!  I miss her more than anything else. When my parents divorced, we spent a lot of time at her house having dinners with her and Dad.  She helped my dad by watching us, and we loved to bake together.  Toward the end of her life I didn't see her much, and I wasn't able to be there at the end.  That's a big regret I have in my life.  I was too busy being young and living my life to slow down and take time to see her.  I'm not sure I will ever forgive myself for that.

I hope she knows how much I miss her!  Sometimes I feel like she might be with me.  I talk to her often, hoping she can hear me.  I hope she's proud of me and how I'm living my life now, and I hope that she can see Sara and how amazing she is.  And I hope that someday (far from now), I will get the chance to see her again.

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