Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What Now?

What do you do when your tired all the time??  What do you do when your muscles ache all the time?  Headaches?  Blurry vision?

Well, after having these symptoms for a few weeks, I finally decided to break down and go to the doctor.  I've been hiding from my family and friends that I have been feeling awful for a month or more now.  I'm so tired at the end of the day that the thought of making Sara a PB&J sandwich for dinner seems like a mountain I'll never be able to climb.  My vision blurs on occasion, and it takes it a while to come back into focus.  Let's just say that it makes driving and working really difficult.  The muscles in my back, shoulders, and neck ache all the time...and sometimes just plain hurt.  They're tight all the time, and my joints hurt as well.  My right hip has been bothering me, and sometimes can even make me limp it hurts so bad.

I've reached the point that I can no longer effectively hide how I'm feeling.  And since I can no longer ignore it (which is what my family does), I had to address it.  Today I went in to my doctor and gave him my list of issues.  Told him that the amount of sleep I get seems to have no affect on my fatigue level what so ever...and that my fatigue was getting worse (especially in the last week to 10 days).  My vision went blurry while I was there, so he was able to take my blood pressure while that was happening and it gave us a valuable piece of the puzzle I couldn't provide myself.  When he took my bp it was high at 158/94.  I usually sit around 107/60.  We talked about what I'd been eating, and I mentioned that I was eating considerably less just because I haven't been hungry for some reason.  Most days I force myself to eat because I don't seem to get hungry at all.  My headaches aren't anything out of the norm.  They don't last for several days or turn into migraines, but Advil can't touch them either.  Between the headaches and muscle/joint pain, I eat Advil like candy.

After talking it over, and him looking me over, checking my heart and lungs, he decided to draw some blood and get some tests done.  He said the main things he was checking for was thyroid issues, Anemia, West Nile Virus, and Lime Disease (lots of mosquitoes here).  I know he was looking for other stuff as well.  I have a family history of MS, and there's always those other really scary things to consider.  I should get results from the blood work tomorrow.

Right now I'm just praying that whatever this is that it doesn't get any worse before we figure it out, that it doesn't take a long time to figure out, and that it isn't something that can't be treated once we do figure it out.  I just want answers.  All I have thought about today is the 10 months it took to diagnose Sara's NF, and how I don't want this journey to be that long.  I'm scared it will take that long, what it is, and how my life (and Sara's life) might change because of this.

Like most medical journeys, this is a "Hurry up and wait" scenario...and I was never good at those.  But I have no choice, so I will wait for as long as it takes to get the answers I need.  Good thing Sara's NF has provided me lots of practice.  I have to let God take it from here, and guide me on this journey.  I have faith that he will provide me with the strength I need to find the answers I seek, and endure what I need to while I'm looking.  Please let this be a short journey, and have a good end. I'm scared!

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